Confession time …
I’ve been in a really bad slump lately. And I do mean really bad, irritated, unhappy and depressed slump. I started out the month of June with big plans. Plans to spend at least an hour a day on both this blog and my Lilla Rose business. I did great the first few days and then we had to travel out-of-town. Things went downhill from there this month.
I never got back into the swing of things. Then it came time to renew my domain name and site … or get rid of it all together. I spent a lot of time really praying about that one because as you know I haven’t been able to blog much this past year.
But I asked God … and His clear answer was to persevere.
I’m worse at doing that than spelling it, and it is one word that always has a red squiggle underneath. But I knew He gave me a clear answer so I went ahead spent the money (I hate spending money!), and renewed my contract for a year. I started out great … worked on removing the ads from my site, started looking at new color palettes and started thing about a new logo. I’m not a designer so these things are really not fun for me at all! I even created a new updated profile picture … though I have only loaded it on Facebook as of this week.
But then …
Well, I’m not exactly sure what then. I think the short of it was I stopped asking God.
I stopped asking Him to give me grace, wisdom, peace and time to get through my day.
I stopped asking Him what He wanted me to spend my time on, or what He might want this blog to look like.
I stopped asking Him questions at all … but was dreadfully unhappy at not having any clear direction on what to do in my life. I forgot I needed to ask about the small things instead of just the big overall picture.
Between everything going on I just stopped asking at some point … and slipped into a deep pit.
Sunday night on the eve of my birthday, my husband sat trying to counsel me and encourage me as I lamented over the many things I was feeling. He suggested that I get a journal and start writing down the questions I had for God, and the requests, so that I could start seeing when God answered.
I told him I’d try, and I did start asking … but I’ll be honest – it was in that whiny pre-teen kid kind of way.
But you know what – He still answered.
Even in my bad attitude, struggling to keep it together and not blow a head gasket, He has still answered me and heard me. No, not on every request – but on some of the simple, basic things, and on a couple of the bigger ones.
So my goal is to start asking again – to start writing it down … maybe here with you, what I am asking God to give me wisdom for – He will answer. His word says so!
If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all, without finding fault, and it will be given to you. – James 1:5
What I’m asking God for today:
– Peace to continue to unwrap the knots that are causing me to struggle
– Wisdom for dealing with my husband and children in this season
– Provision for our families needs
– Self-control and diligence to keep going
What are you asking Him for today?