It’s been a really busy and stressful season for our family. And it is far from over.
In fact it’s been so busy, God reminded me last night that I have even forgotten my own name.
Of course, I have not (at least not yet!) forgotten my actual first name. But I have forgotten who God has called me to be – a wisdom seeking mommy.
You see, I spent most of yesterday in a state just below a mild panic attack.
I have been concerned, as any mom would be, as we have continued to see specialists who are unsure what to think about Naomi and keep using the word complicated to describe her. She appears to most to be a relatively healthy and normal toddler – but there is an odd assortment of symptoms and blood work, and dietary restrictions that keep her doing fairly well, that have left those we have seen unsure of where to go next … other than to refer us to another specialist.
So back to yesterday. We received some of the newest blood work back, and in my normal fashion I Googled the abnormal results so I would have a better understanding of what it all meant.
Googling things can be a double-edged sword.
I was a bit concerned but not overly in a panic till I got to the bottom. The part with a long complicated explanation that didn’t make much sense. I tried Googling, only to find a complication formula for trying to figure out a score that was supposed to give you information and how well a person’s kidneys are functioning.
There appeared to be 2 ways to interpret her results, and after a while I still could not figure out which was correct. All I knew was one way would mean something was very wrong, and the other she was absolutely fine.
I finally opted to call the Pediatrician and ask her to take a look at the results as the Specialist who ordered the test was not in.
The scary part for me today — and by the way her results were fine on that test, praise God! — was not once yesterday did I stop and really pray.
I didn’t stop and ask God for wisdom. I didn’t stop and remember that He is her Creator, and the giver of all wisdom.
I just kept Googling for knowledge. I kept trying to figure out the tests and put together some of the different things that I have come across that have helped her in the last year. It honestly makes my head spin.
And yet, I have forgotten in the last few months who I am.
First and foremost, I am a beloved Daughter of the King of kings. A child of the Living God – who is the Creator of all. I am a child who has a Parent who truly knows all things – and I was given the clear directive to follow Him in obedience in all things. Which includes seeking Him for Wisdom.
Knowledge is good, but without wisdom how can we know how to properly apply it?
I have a feeling that I am not the only one who forgets who they are in seasons of busyness and stress.
So if you are there with me today – may I remind you that you are a beloved child of God who has this whole world in His hands. Who knows each season of our lives, and has laid them out according to His purpose to bring about our good. He has the wisdom to navigate our lives, and freely gives it as we ask and seek Him (James 1:5).
And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. – Romans 8:28
I am unsure when or how often I will be back to post here at WisdomSeekingMommy.com. I am continuing to seek God’s direction for my life and honestly it is hard to say at this point what even the very near future holds.
But, I am thoroughly reminded that I need to remember my name – and continue to seek Wisdom for all things in my life.
May God bless each of you as you seek Him,